Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Setting Boundaries

Are you finding it difficult to achieve balance in your life?

Are you juggling too many things at once?

Do you feel overwhelmed by all the things expected of you?

Are you frustrated by not having the time to do what is important and enjoyable to you?

If you answered yes to these questions you more than likely have failed to set boundaries in your life.

Setting boundaries in your life is extremely important for your happiness & wellbeing. Setting boundaries ensures that you spend time on those things that are meaningful, beneficial, enjoyable and important to you and ultimately lead you to living a fulfilling and happy life.

It is your responsibility to set the boundaries.

If you fail to set boundaries you will find your life being shaped and dictated by others.

Setting boundaries is about respecting and valuing your time. Remember time is precious. You need to make wise choices on how you wish to spend it. If you don’t set boundaries and respect and value your time, others will not. It is not their fault. You can’t blame or resent demands that have been placed on you by others. If others have invaded your time you have allowed that to happen. That may sound harsh but in reality it is your fault for letting it happen. I found in my personal experience that when I started respecting and value my time, others did.

The first step in setting boundaries is for you to know what you value and what your priorities are. You need to invest some time to sit down and decide what is important to you! I recommend that you write it down on a piece of paper.

Once you have decided on what is important to you (e.g. time with family & friends, rest and relaxation, exercise, hobbies, self-improvement, recreation, fun activities, playing a sport etc.), allocate a time slot for them. Remember that they are important to you. If you neglect to spend time in important areas of your life you will eventually suffer the consequences.

Do your very best to adhere to your boundaries. Stick to them. Be committed to them. You will reap the benefits of doing so. Let others know what your boundaries are. People are not mind readers. Unless you clearly indicate your boundaries to others they will not know what they are.

In my experiences people will understand that you need time to devote to important areas of your life, especially if you explain the importance. Don’t feel that you have to please everyone and meet everyone’s demands. Remember, you need also to please yourself and meet your needs. It is not selfish for you to do so. It is part of nourishing yourself so that you can be better for yourself and others.

Author: Steve Decker – Life Management & Success Coach

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